I am very very happy today. I got my acceptance letter from Oberlin today!!! I love each and every one of you.
There was once a time that I thought I was talented and unique.
Wow. Today is terrible. I really need a hug right now. I need someone to sit and talk to me, to just let me hug them and tell me it's gonna be alright. So I've been working on this dialogue with Kat to bring to the state thespian conference. We had it planned about a month age, and have been working on it for several weeks. This is really important to me, I was the first to bring IE's to states, and although I've never won I was really hoping to do a kick ass job this year and let people see what I'm capable of. Amber and I did a wonderfull job with one last year, but it didn't even make callbacks, even though we did our very best. This year, I wanted to surpass everything. I mean, this is my last chance. But today G walks up to Kat and I while we're rehearsing after school and asks us, "hey guys, what are you doing?" Um....our dialogue for states.... A foreshadowing look crossed G's face. "Um...I'm not sure you guys are registered..." And it turns out that we were never registered to do our dialogue for the competition, and so we can't. we can't. I needed this chance to prove to myself what I can do, and I completely lost it. I can be so irresponsible, no wonder I was never recognized. All that work we put into it, that I dragged Kat into doing with me (Which she did an EXCELLENT job of, by the way) and it's all for absolutely nothing. Nothing. I need somebody right now. Life sucks.
So today was Saint Patricks day. And I wore a kilt. I tell ya, there is nothing more liberating, aside from tearing down all class systems and kicking out the burgeois, than wearing a kilt. I love it. It gives me energy. It made today a really fun day. I got to hang out with Amber, and we all went to Squeekers, which was a pleasant surprise because for once it wasn't me organizing people to go there. It's a good place, you should go! But anyways, my kilt equals freedom, and I love it.
people really can be closed minded. I watch people, and they are too parochial to simply try anything new, to try to think afresh or see things from a new perspective. But throw lets say a video game at them, and suddenly they are focused and enthralled. It's like, "Here I can open myself". Video games are fun, but they aren't anything. They aren't real, have no real consequences. If only people took five minutes to throw away their prejudices and actually
think, they would be much more interesting people. If they stopped looking at just the practical, material side of life and opened their heart and hopes to endless possibilities, freeing their minds from their intentional ignorance cages and secure doubts inforced by loudmouthed agreements, they not only would be more intelligent and creative, but more fun to talk to as well.
The typical reactionary means of gaining support is by flauting your flaws. If you have doubts on something, or feel insecure, and suddenly some one starts making fun of the other side and making nonsense arguments like "Well I like it, wheres the crime?" and "Thats the way it is, get over it" they naturally fall back into their fake shell, feeling good because someone is making their evils seem not so evil. It's a majority rules philosophy- they all like it, so there's nothing wrong with me liking it. I'll admit it, I'm not pure, I've been a victim of this as well. But the first step to combating it is realization, that YES some things I do are wrong and I need to work on them. And actually trying to. Then change will happen.
Everyone says things are so hard, or I've been doing things this way for just too long I can't stop now, or one person will never make a difference. Well, the truth is, one person DOES make a difference, you can do anything once you set your mind, and nothing has been done so long that it can't be changed. If we care, why not take action to make the world a better place? We have so much power, yet so little people realize it--they don't want us to figure it out, but honestly, Karl Marx was so right when it came to this. We control the economy. We fund all of their exploitations, and we can stop them at any time. WE just need to take initiative. Yes the popular media betrays this--always showing commercials with perfect people, completely happy and secure, doing things the way they "should be". You know, buying all the latest fads, not speaking up, clogging themselves with makeup, obsessing over boys like they themselves don't matter, eating meat with no thought, watching mounds of TV. We can fight it, dang it! We can be whatever we want to be! All we need to do is realize that we own this world, that our actions will matter, not say "it's too far" or "it's too hard". When for once people sit back, try to think and see all perspectives of other peoples problems, and realize that we have tremendous potential for change will this world evolve to a higher level of civilization. You have choices, and you have power. What kind of a world do you want this to be?
