It's happening again...it's happening again...
...hope...
You know, I don't think I'm cut out for this whole girlfriend boyfriend thing. Even if I ever do find someone right for me, I don't think I could be the person I imagine, the person I want to have that special someone see. Maybe i will end up going through life alone, because I can't be outgoing and confident. Dumb guys tell me I need to act like I am the shit in order for girls to like me, but this whole truth thing comes in, because honestly I am not the shit I am not something wonderful, just an oversensitive overly thoughtful guy who wants to love someone. Thats crap, to act like a cock to attract females. I don't want to be with females who are attracted to a cock. But, as I watch life, those guys seem to be right. I don't think I am secure enough to hold a serious relationship like I want to. Maybe I will end up alone, because this image of me in bliss being able to share and communicate with this utterly creative sensitive female isn't possible, because it isn't truthful. My me is not her me. I don't think I'm cut out for this whole girlfriend boyfriend thing.
Hm...update...I'm a terrible person, I ignored my values, made an ass of myself, and recently found out one of the most traumatic things I've ever heard regarding a friend. hm...bye.
